GAYS DEFEND MARRIAGE

In discussing my opposition to same-sex marriage in the comments section of a previous post, GDM participant Mark Barton wrote,

We get it that it’s your sincere religious belief, and we’re sorry, but we don’t think that excuses it any more than it would excuse racism, and we don’t accept your apology. In 2009, we expect you to have had a “can that be right?” moment, and if you haven’t, or if you haven’t come to the answer “no”, then it’s personal.

Frankly, I’m sick of having my principled opposition to redefining marriage (based on both religious and secular principles) compared to racism. Anyone who does so must either be woefully uneducated about the history of prejudice and discrimination in this country, or deeply deluded as to the relative lack of pain, which is really little more than discomfort, faced by same-sex couples in America.

It’s probably both. I remember debating at ExGayWatch with several LGBT people over the notion of whether gays in America were being “treated” like Jews in fascist Europe. That ludicrous and offensive proposition was actually defended by several gay people, who seemed to hang their politics on the hook of believing they are far, far more persecuted than they are.

I don’t want to condescend to recount for the readers of this blog the horrors of racism in the last century in the United States, much less the century before that. By contrast, having to call one’s relationship a “domestic partnership” or “mutual beneficiary” instead of a marriage, even with most or all the rights is pathetically petty.

Yes, I know, in some cases screw-ups at hospitals have created tragedies for couples without a formal partnership. And there are sad situations regarding custody and inheritance, too. But it’s not like racism. Not at all. And it can be fixed without meddling with the central family institution in our society.

So stop suggesting my beliefs are akin to racism. To do so insults to very real history of persecution against African-Americans in this country and is incredibly presumptuous and arrogant. And moreso, it insults me. It suggests that I hold views akin to those I despise, and it’s way out of line. One could even say it’s personal.