GAYS DEFEND MARRIAGE

An important recent study in the journal Developmental Psychology found that same-sex couples are more satisfied in their relationships than opposite-sex couples – and gay and lesbian couples are generally happy no matter what the legal status of their relationships. From the Washington Post:

The three-year study found that same-sex couples were similar to heterosexual couples in most relationship areas and that legal status didn’t seem to be the overriding factor affecting same-sex relationships.

Regardless of civil union status, same-sex couples were more satisfied with their relationships, reported more positive feelings toward their partners, and reported less conflict than married heterosexual couples.

This study pretty much destroys the frequent argument that gays need marriage because marriage makes people happy. According to American Sexuality Magazine, leading same-sex marriage proponent Jonathan Rauch argued in the New York Times “that gay men and lesbians should be allowed to marry because social science research shows that marriage makes people happier.” Well, the latest social science research shows that marriage is not necessary for same-sex couples to be happier than married couples. In fact, you might predict that marriage will make same-sex couples less happy, since all the married people in the study were less happy in their relationships than same-sex couples, whether or not they were in civil unions.

So, can we now expect Jonathan Rauch to back away from same-sex marriage, now that the rationale he gave in the New York Times no longer works? Of course not. Because the marriage equality movement is not about getting happiness, or hospital visitation rights, or property inheritance rights, or any of the other “benefits” LGBT people are always talking about. If it were, we could probably work out a compromise that respects marriage while relieving the distress of same-sex couples. But the marriage equality movement is about boosting the self-esteem of gay men and lesbians, many of whom had a tough time growing up. And I’d be happy to stroke LGBT egos if the route under discussion wasn’t doing tremendous harm to a central institution in our society.